In the news recently, Jason Collin’s came out as the first concurrent professional male athlete in U.S. History. Though, he’s received backlash from NFL players and ESPN announcers, the support from his family and friends; Collins categorized as “truly inspirational”. Additionally, Hip hop artists Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s hit son “same love” advocates equal rights for the LGBTQ community. The first time I was really immersed in any gay rights protests was in 2008 during the prop 8 campaign. I was amazed at the fire spit from both sides of the picket line. One side yelling for equal rights and the other shouting for the right to choose. Both of these arguments are so definably American, that this fight no longer surprises me. Both sides are fighting for the future world of their children and grandchildren. So here I am stuck at a crossroad, with the fight at my door begging me to pick a side, I choose the pro-life side. What do I mean by “pro-life”? I mean I choose the side that has more human lives lost; more lives lost from teen suicide and bullying. More lives lost at the hands of murder and “misunderstanding”. I choose the side of Matthew Shepard. I choose Ryan Keith Skipper. I choose Harvey Milk. I choose the loved ones who lost their family, because of the hate that followed from openly expressing who they were and following their hearts.
I was taught to always introduce myself and stand behind my words. My name is Devin Hiller. I’m an EMT, a Student, and I come from a middle class background. I’m the Daughter of a Public Defender, the Granddaughter of a woman on wall street and the Goddaughter of the Deputy Director of the Women’s Division of the Human Rights Watch. I’m surrounded by powerful women who always told me to study hard, follow my dreams and work hard to earn what I want out of life. However, the one thing none of them could teach me first hand was how to live life as a gay woman. I’ve always been gay. My family knew I was gay before I did. My mother likes to joke that I ended up gay because she listened to Melissa Etheridge during her pregnancy. My Dad helped me come out to him by joking “you can only play softball for so long, Devin.” And my Grandmother said it was so nice to finally meet my “little friend” when I brought my first girlfriend home for thanksgiving.
To be honest, I still don’t know how I ended up as a gay woman. Both of my parents are veterans of the U.S. Airforce, white-collar workers, who took my siblings and I to our respective soccer games, ballet lessons, and violin recitals. Neither of my siblings are gay, making me believe that parenting was not a factor. I grew up on Star Wars and Disney movies; and unless Han Solo was hiding lady parts in those skin tight pants of his, I think his relationship with Princess Leia was heterosexual. When I played house in elementary school a boy played the husband and a girl played the wife. No homosexuality there. In middle school, we went over the first round of sex education, and unless I missed the part about how gay people reproduce, It a was heterosexual version. Finally in High school, when I came out during junior year, no one seemed to know much about lesbians because I kept getting the same question, “how do lesbians have sex?” to which I replied “let me know when you’ve tried it”(my mother may have taught me tact, but she also taught me sarcasm). So here’s my childhood in a nutshell and I still can’t figure out how I became gay in a world so heterosexual; It must be in my genes. How did any of the U.S. become gay in the predominately heterosexual culture? To make it through the years of teasing and bullying that comes from grades one through twelve, and still be gay and living is next to a miracle.
Taking the focus of this letter back to the present day, I wonder how our country can call its self a representation of what our founding father’s meant for us? When the colonies broke away from the British Crown, we gave ourselves the freedoms of John Locke’s natural law, which included basic human and economic rights, making each citizen equal from the time they are born to the time they die. Weather you are a woman, have different skin pigment, share different religious beliefs, or if you grow up loving a different gender; Being born in the United States of America gives you the birthright to be treated equally.
So, Here is my request America, let me grow old with the woman I marry, with a dog and a house. Let me send my kids to school without them being teased for having lesbian parents. Let them sit uncomfortably through the birds and the bees, and tell me “how embarrassing I am”. Let my children grow up without the worry that their parents could be assaulted because they love each other. And finally Let my future children grow up in a world where they can be swept off their feet by their own Prince or Princess Charming without feeling the pressure tho hide what they are or who they love.
My Name Is Devin Hiller. I’m 21. I’m an EMT. And I’m gay.
